I am not Less because I am Fat

There are many words to describe many forms of discrimination. Ageism, racism and sexism are commonly used words and I would imagine need little explanation in today’s society.

What if I told you that I felt that I was a victim of ‘lookism’ on a number of occasions?

You’d probably scoff and tell me that I was just making words up and I can’t deny that my own reaction would be the same.  Lookism is to discriminate against a person because of their looks. Well whatever silly word you want to put on it, it’s happened to me.

I would like to put this into perspective. The use of the word victim is slightly inflammatory – I do have a flair for the dramatic. I’m in no way comparing what happened to me with people who suffer real intolerance. In fact it’s so trivial and superficial that it is almost a source of amusement to me.

At first I thought I was crazy, that I was allowing my own insecurities to escape from my overactive brain. Making connections that weren’t there. But now I suspect that I was right.

When I moved back to the home town after being in Dublin and abroad for a few years it took me a while to adjust to the smaller community. Everybody knows everybody and all the faces were the same. I’d look in the local paper and see pictures of people at various events and all taken by the same photographer. Scrolling through the pages I loved checking out the style, dying to see if I recognised anyone.

Valentine’s Day came and it was my turn to be a socialite. There was a ball for charity and my family decided to attend.  Groomed and glam we headed off ready to enjoy the evening. We all boarded the lift and who got in with us, only the photographer. I checked my lippy in the reflective wall of the elevator strongly suspecting he would nab us for a photo upon our exit.

That didn’t happen.

We took to our table and I watched as he gathered women and lined them up. He worked his way through the whole room. He never took our photo. One of the guests of honour seated at our table was a senior staff member of the charity. Surely that would be an important photograph to have?

I let it go out of my mind despite my surprise, until I said it to someone the next day,

Raging I won’t get my photo in the paper!” I remarked. Well, the answer I got floored me.

No sure he doesn’t take photos of people who are overweight.” I thought she was joking and got on with my life as you do.

The problem is I have now attended numerous events and have never once had my photo taken by this person. The law of averages would suggest that if the choice of people who were photographed was random then I would have been included at least once.

Realistically I have no proof; I can’t walk up to him and ask him if he has a problem with fat people? In the grand scheme of things it’s not even important.

The fact that he behaves that way says more about him then me.

I am an over-thinker but I refuse to allow my self-esteem be dictated by something as superficial as this. It is a strange feeling to be overlooked because of your appearance. Part of me, the teenager in me, wants that man to ask for my picture so badly, as a kind of validation that  I’m worthy.

The badass mother in me has fantasised about where I’d tell him to stick his camera if he did ever ask.

Lucky for me I can take my own picture and I take a mean Selfie even if I do say so myself.

I Stand With Nurses and Midwives

I tried to become a nurse…. Twice!!!

I was 18 years old when I made my first attempt and the advertisement in the paper said ‘Mentally Handicapped Nurses’. It was perfectly acceptable terminology in those days. I applied and I was accepted and it meant moving to Dublin. How exciting! I was Continue reading “I Stand With Nurses and Midwives”

There’s A New Classic Santa Movie: The Christmas Chronicles

I don’t really know what possesses people to remake movies that have been made a thousand times? I love innovation and new ideas. I’m not a big fan of revisiting already jaded concepts. This is why The Christmas Chronicles on Netflix came as a delightful surprise!

It’s not Christmas in my house yet but despite my better judgement I stuck it on last night in an attempt at getting all my children to agree to the one activity. They were sucked in straight away and so was I. It’s a modern take that doesn’t move too far away from the stories of Santa that I grew up with.

A few notable differences. There’s no Rudolph. Looks like the other reindeer didn’t want him hogging the limelight and not only called him names but left him out all together. The big departure from the classics are the elves. They are not humans but tiny little furry creatures complete with their own language. I loved them. I thought there were the cutest little divils!

In this movie Santa is more of an action man and dare I say it just a bit sexy. Well he is played by Kurt Russell so I’m not a total weirdo! His coat is leather and he zips in and out of the houses with athletic prowess that we have not seen in Santa before and it works! The child actors are not the sickly sweet Hollywood brats that you want to slap, they are excellent. Watch out for Mrs Claus at the very end……I let out such a shriek that the children thought I was taking a turn.

My only regret is that I watched it a week or three too early. On the plus side I get to tell all of you to not pass this one by. I’m not a film critic but for whatever reason this one is a cut above the rest. I think this is going to turn into a classic for many children and it’s well deserved.

Is There Any Need For Drink At Concerts?

I remember my first concert. 17 years of age and travelling to Dublin to see my favourite boy band was as exciting as it got. The atmosphere in the venue was unlike anything I had experienced before. As we walked up the aisle to our assigned seating I didn’t know what to expect.

Then the music started and I could feel it in my bones. As if that wasn’t enough, from out of the floor like some sort of magic trick the band popped up and there they were. My teenage idols in the flesh. I had almost expected them to be impersonators, but no, it was them and it was magnificent.

It’s a strong memory; not only because it was my first live show but because it’s the only concert that I remember that hasn’t been tainted by somebody who has had a little too much to drink.

I take a drink. I love a drink and that tipsy feeling where everything is a little funnier and truths leak out with a little more ease. However, I do not believe alcohol has any place in concert venues. I do not see the point in paying eighty or ninety euro to see a show that you won’t even remember the following day.

My first bad experience was at a Justin Timberlake concert. Mr. Trousersnake was doing his thing on stage and my cousin and I loved it. There were five inebriated girls behind us murdering every note and that didn’t bother me one little bit. I have massacred many a tune in my day.

This was the era of actual camera’s and I had mine wrapped around my wrist when I could feel a hand tugging at it. I thought someone is trying to steal my camera and I wasn’t having a bar of it. I turned to confront my assailant to see one member of the choir behind me about to faint. Her eyes were rolling in the back of her head and her body stiffened before she began to fall to the ground.

Now I know that this may have occurred with or without alcohol but the mayhem that ensued wouldn’t have if the girls were of sound mind.

Two of her mates grabbed her and tried to hold her up while the other two wailed and were of no help to anyone. I pleaded with them to let her fall to the ground. They didn’t listen. They proceeded to drag the unconscious girl, whose clothing was now in her arm pits, across the floor. What happened after that is anybody’s guess.

I had noticed how much they were drinking and wondered how they were managing without several trips to the toilet. The area we were standing in wasn’t over-crowded or too warm, so really for me it was the alcohol that contributed to what happened.

Not only was her experience ruined but it’s very hard to return to enjoying the show after witnessing something like that.

I’ve seen it all when it comes to alcohol related catastrophes at concerts. I’ve dodged vomit and fist fights. There’s been people smoking when it’s clearly forbidden. There was a couple who spent the whole show fighting and the teen that wept the whole way through while she texted. Then there was the lady with ten year old hair extensions that smelled like an old rug. She kept flicking her hair in my face before I had to simply ask her to stop. Her response: “I’m sorry but when I’ve had a few too many. I don’t realise what I’m doing.

Enough said.

I do not understand why you would part with your hard earned cash to not bother paying attention to the act, however that is your choice.

My beef comes when you encroach on my experience.

I’m there to see the show. If I wanted to be in a room full of drunken people I’d go to a nightclub and save myself a lot of money. I think there is no need for alcohol to be such an integral part of every social situation. If you do drink at every concert I challenge you to a sober experience.

Not only will you enjoy it but you’ll afford other people the courtesy of allowing them to enjoy it too.

How to Feel Good in your Clothes

When you are not where you want to be with your body, clothes can be a source of anxiety. If you are carrying a little extra weight it can be hard to source stylish clothes that are affordable.

Equally, if you are very slim, finding clothes that sit right and give you shape can be just as difficult. I’ve compiled a few tips to help your daily dress work with you, not against you.

 

Underwear

It all starts with the essentials; good underwear. Make sure you are wearing the correct size bra. Go for a fitting every 6 months with a professional.  I went to a local lingerie shop for my fitting My Breasts Have Been Measured  Don’t underestimate how much a good bra can affect your shape. It will help all your clothes sit better. If you have big breasts, a well fitted bra will give you much needed support and shape. If you have small breasts you might want to get some padding if that makes you more comfortable.

 

Plan Outfits

Pick out what you are going to wear the night before. Last minute decisions made in a hurry can cause you to throw something on you that you don’t feel great in. A carefully planned ensemble will ensure you feel great all day long.

 

Buy Less, Wear More

The majority of us are not celebs. There is nothing wrong with wearing the same thing over and over. Especially if it’s something you love. Reduce your wardrobe to pieces you adore to wear. We all have that t-shirt that ‘will do us’. Scrap that notion. Love everything you wear and you’ll feel great when you step out the door.

 

Ignore Sizes

I know we need a guideline of where to start and the numbers help, but don’t fret about what size is on the label. I can be anywhere from a size 16 in one store and all the way up to a 24 in others. What matters is that the clothes fit you well. Try on and go with what looks the best as opposed to what number you think you should be.

 

Don’t Follow Trends

If you love what’s trendy and in style of course go for it. Just don’t wear something because everyone else is. Wear what makes you feel happy when you look in the mirror. This takes a certain confidence but you will feel better in a style you prefer over a style you think you should be wearing.

 

Have Fun

Clothes are a necessity of everyday life but don’t let them become a chore. Have fun picking your outfits. Make time to shop so that you don’t get forced into buying something under pressure. The innovation of internet shopping means you can browse and browse until you find something that appeals to you. Make sure your purchase makes you smile even if it makes your credit card cry!

Our clothes should work for us and not against us. Choose wisely and have fun.

Most of all, love your body and stay body positive!

Our Mini Staycation with BubbleBum

* We were gifted a BubbleBum. The opinions expressed are honest and come from my own brain and not cause someone told me to say it!

I just about managed to get myself and my budget in order to bring the kids away for a couple of nights. One problem, the logistics of three children to one adult is a nightmare. Enter sister extraordinaire to the rescue and we were all giddy for our little holiday. Continue reading “Our Mini Staycation with BubbleBum”

Day Tripping : Sealife Bray

* Our entry into  Sealife’s LEGO adventure, Ocean Explorers event was complimentary. The opinions expressed are honest and come from my own brain and not cause someone told me to say it!

My youngest is four and it’s only now that I’m getting my head around the idea of taking them off for the day on my own. I was always just a little bit worried that the day would be a disaster without the support of another adult. Continue reading “Day Tripping : Sealife Bray”

The Irish Don’t Do Compliments

I’ve never really considered myself to be patriotic. I don’t have a great understanding of Irish history. I’m not a native speaker. The game of Hurling and the furore that goes with it, is well over my head. I don’t like spuds nor do I drink tea. Continue reading “The Irish Don’t Do Compliments”