Cinema Kids Club; A Survival Guide

We love a trip to the cinema but it’s an expensive ordeal. The kids club allows us to enjoy our movies at a fraction of the cost. It’s a fantastic service in terms of your purse strings. Enjoying the movie, well that’s a whole other kettle of fish altogether. Based on this morning’s experience I have come up with a few pointers to survive a trip to the Cinema’s Kids Club.

Take motion sickness tablets

I’m not usually one to suffer but the cinema proved challenging today. My seat was moving so much I felt like I was in a kayak on a very choppy river. The demon child sitting behind me was kicking my sit continuously. No amount of swift head snaps backwards, paired with the stink eye, deterred this child. Then every person in that row visited the toilet at least 20 times and grabbed my chair as they passed. I was beginning to feel woozy. Next time I’ll be prepared.

Arrive on time

It was a miserable Sunday morning which meant every parent in the whole county had the same idea. Waste a couple of hours at the flicks. It was mayhem. I could see many mothers holding arms so tight that the circulation was reduced. Explaining through gritted teeth that it would be ok! Everyone would get in! Once standing upright the look of desperation across the brow, hoping that they would, in fact, get in.

Book online

My sister is smart and she booked our tickets in advance on the aul internet. Now, we still had to endure the zig zag line across the foyer to get the overpriced popcorn. Activities you may enjoy while you wait include:

  • Actively dodging other people’s snotty kids as they run around like wild animals.
  • Trying not to make eye contact with that person you slept with 20 years ago, who is now standing in line with their spouse and twin boys.
  • Attempting to stop your own children from running round like wild animals.

Anyway we knew our seats were safe so it was one less thing to worry about.

Bring extra snacks

You have to get the popcorn, I’ll grant you that, but the food is overpriced so bring back up supplies. This is of course forbidden by all the cinema companies so you must be subtle about it. Lucky for us ladies, big handbags are a fashion and it can be done without notice. I have popcorn bags, I bring them and dish out the goodies before the movie starts. If the movie is not holding their attention the grub will. Drinks are a must because when all that remains of the slushie, is the blue stains on their teeth they’ll still want more.

Do not choose a film you actually WANT to see.

This experience is very much about the children. It’s noisy and full of bustle so if it’s a movie you really want to enjoy, cough up full price and go at night. The latest element of the kids club is light up shoes. At one stage I thought I was at a rave the light show was so bright. Your job is not to watch the film anyway. You are chief snack opener, toileting supervisor and chief susher when your children talk just that little bit too loud.

All things considered it’s a great facility to be able to bring my three to the cinema without having to sell an organ on the black market to facilitate it. We love our movies and will brave the elements time and time again.  You can’t beat the big screen experience even when it comes with additional surround sound!!

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