My First Internet Rendezvous

If a pile of pancakes hasn’t clouded your memory you may realise that tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. First to all you non subscribers to the holiday of love….. baaaahhhh to ye. Yes I get that it’s commercialism at its best but sure our whole existence is commercialised. Our education, our health our homes are all exercises in someone making money somewhere. Valentines is a bit of craic and I love it.

I’ve been single for an age so I haven’t had that someone special to buy something tacky for. Despite my best efforts I have a foot hold on the shelf and the more accustomed I become to the view the less likely it is that I’ll ever leave. That’s alright though, I have more than enough love in my life.

I have many stories of the dating life and in the spirit of Valentine’s I’m going to share with you the story of the first time I ever met anyone off the Internet. You see there was a time not so long ago that internet dating was a taboo. The punchline of ‘we will tell people we met in mass’ was a very real possibility because if you told people you met online there would be audible gasps.

Having just returned from a year’s drinking in Australia I decided I wanted to buy a house and spent my weekends indoors to try and save. The internet became my best pal. I loved it but I was nervous. I chatted to loads of people but that was it, just chat no talk of even progressing it into reality. Until this one guy from Waterford suggested we meet up? I was dubious but intrigued. I thought what have I got to lose?

Well my life for a start!!!

I had deflected and deflected and Mr Waterford was losing patience I could sense that much. One night he text me and said I’m in the car and I’m on my way to Kilkenny. When I get there you can tell me where you live or you can leave me wandering around like a fool the choice is up to you. I protested not nearly hard enough. I wanted him to come but I didn’t want to be the one to make the decision.

I brought my sister’s number up on the phone and put in my pocket with one finger hovering over the dial button as I directed him to my door. It was madness but very exciting. I opened the door and he bounded up the steps and gave me a warm hug. My hand never budged from my pocket and I remember thinking well he doesn’t look like an axe murder. They very rarely do! He smelled gorgeous and was chatty and made me feel at ease. The grip on the phone softened.

I sat on one couch and he sat on the other as we both tried to overcome the shock of seeing each other in the flesh. Then in the silence between giggles and awkward small talk  we both heard a very very loud bang. What the hell was that? I got up to look outside and he followed me. The parking space where his car once sat when I welcomed him inside now sat empty. A quick glance to the right and it all became clear.

In his nervous haste to get to the door he forgot to put his handbrake on the car and it rolled down the hill and straight into the back of an ESB repair truck four or five doors down. Once we finished laughing he recovered the vehicle and thankfully there was little damage to his and none at all to the truck. There was kinda no pulling in back from there and he gave me a kiss on the cheek and he headed home.

It was the start of a long list of internet dates, some more successful than others. Now it’s common place and there’s no shame in being on dating sights. I don’t know how people meet otherwise if I’m honest. So if you are rushing in the door to meet someone for the first time or tell them you love them for the millionth time, don’t forget the handbrake!

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