Other Mothers

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Hellloooo Yes i’m talking to you. You dear other mother that is listening to me right now. I would like to address this strange dynamic that you and I, as mothers, have with one another. We both have children. Whether you gave birth or someone else gave birth for you or you took on a child, we are both now blessed in our role as mother. This role might involve one or more children but the title remains the same. You might have a partner or a husband or mulitple sexual partners that you call on from time to time but again we are both mothers. You may have a job or a number of jobs or you may be a stay at home mother but guess what yes at the risk of being predictable we are both mothers. So now that we have established that we are part of the one team. Why is it we compete and compare?

When I had my first son I had a feeding schedule that I adhered to at all costs. I was rigid to a fault. If I broke from my routine the universe would surely implode. I was totally convinced. I did it by the book and was doing everything ‘right’. Then guess what I discovered?  My besty who I genuinely consider to be an excellent mother had her own feeding schedule and it was so different to mine. How could this be? I found my inner voice muttering things like…. it’s not how I’d do it? surely that can’t be right? is that even good for the baby?……when I calmed because we all know you go a little crazy on your first I realised there is no one way to do anything and that all you have to do is your best.

Potty training, soothers, screen time ( american way of saying watching tele and playing video games) consumption or lack thereof fruit and vegetables, co-sleeping, breastfeeding and allowing them juice  are all subjects that could cause two otherwise sensible mothers to row like children in baby infants.

I took the soothers off my boys when they were 11 months old. I found other mothers who were happy for their own children to have a soother make excuses to me once they realised mine no longer had theirs. The truth being it’s none of my business if your child had her soother until the day she heads off to college. That is your parenting choice and the only one that has to be happy with it is you!

I used to  lay with my boys every night until they finally give up the will to be awake! It’s a long drawn out process that I used to hate. Then I changed my attitude and tried to see it as an intimate time when they both had my full attention and I enjoyed it. My mother thought it was madness and she was probably right. At the time I was doing what I needed to do cope with my situation. I wasn’t asking anyone else to do it for me.  If your child sleeps with you until his wedding night it’s no skin off my nose because that is your parenting choice and the only one that has to be happy with it is you!

I allow my children have more treats than I’m happy to admit to. I’m not asking you to come mind them when they have the ‘e’ sugar rush and are literally licking the walls. I’m also not asking you to comfort my child when the chocolate goes up his tooth and pains him which I’m sure is a direct result of too many sweets. This is a poor parenting choice that I make. For what reasons I’m not sure but I’m the one that has to live with it.

So I suppose the point of this little rant is to encourage us as mothers to support each others choices. If we need to be critical we always have the Kardashians to pick on.  A high horse is not a good vantage point to have because when you fall it’s gonna hurt! I’m speaking from experience.

 

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