I’m sitting on my couch and I’m humming Van the Man’s tune…. so my momma told me… there’ll be days like these. Well I can’t quite remember the lyrics because it’s not a nursery rhyme so I’m not sure whether the message of the song is that you’ll have good days or that you’ll have bad days. Answers on a postcard please. As I hum the tune I feel reflective. I’m thinking about what can only be described as a fiasco of a day that I endured on Monday. I would like to share with you that day, comfortable in the knowledge that many mothers across the globe have had similar experiences if not worse.
It was a normal Monday…. cold but not cold enough to put the heat on. Just cold enough that you need to put your socks on when you wake up first thing. I was running late for the school run so no shower was had. If I was a cartoon character green fumes would have rose from the top of my head. I bumble to school and do the unthinkable. Leave the two small ones in the car while I sprint across the road with the Sun. It’s ok don’t call the cops they were fine!!!! Just a normal day as you can tell.
The morning flew and I gave the Moon and Stars their lunch before doing the preschool run. The times I drop to preschool and collect from big school are fairly close together so I usually just park outside the school and play with my daughter (check Facebook) in the car. Again all very uneventful. Go home and put the Stars up for her nap. I black mail my Sun to the couch with sweets and he promises to not move until Mammy is out of the shower. God I’m choc full of risky ideas today.
Sun has swimming lessons on a Monday. Now as all busy mothers know these activities that you bring your children to and from become a social event. There was no way that I was going to ‘my’ swimming with the green fumes coming out of my head. I shower, do my hair and put on the face, god help me, there is only so much that make up can do, look at the clock and of course I’m pushing it. Scoop the poor baby out of the cot, throw a few bits into a bag and head off like grease lightening over to ‘my’ swimming.
I’m focused now I’m in full Mommy mode and I’m going through the motions with militarily precision. Buggy up baby in, in the door to the cubicle. Sun changed like his clothes had velcro on them. Just one last thing. His goggles. I go back to the bag. I look. I look again. I put my hand in expecting it to uncover treasure like Mary Poppins bag. NO GOGGLES. I go out to buy the child some goggles. €17 euro…. yes €17 euro they cost me. I bring them poolside to the child and resist the temptation to scold him for forgetting to pack his goggles into the bag that he didn’t pack.
I turn around and head out to the vending machine to buy a bag of sweets to leave on the car of a friend as a joke. I stride out to the car with the stealth of one of those bald monks. I’m looking at the car like i’m going to break into it when a lady strides up beside me and says ‘can I help you?’ I asked ‘is this Brian’s car?’ ( circumstances are real but names have been changed to protect the people involved)’ It is’ she replies suspiciously ‘Do you want me to text him or anything?’ ‘Ah no’ I said ‘I’m just leaving him a present’ she glances at me like as if I’ve been let out for the day and I sulk feeling like the biggest sap in the world.
Head back in from my mission to view my Sun only to see him clinging to the side of the pool upset. The coach says he has a loose tooth. I’m all like that’s cool…. he’s all like that’s not cool….. i’m all like go do your swimming and he’s all like
He starts bawling so I go around to the pool and it turns out a ball hit him in the chin and knocked his tooth loose. Ouch. I take him out of the pool and all I can think about is €17 I’m after paying €17 for him to not do his lesson. Oh and I was concerned for my son’s well being of course that goes without saying. Bring him home and he’s upset. He’s a delicate soul my eldest. I cook the dinner. He eats nothing and just looks generally pathetic. I get ready to go to my Line Dancing dealing with my motherly guilt as you do. I pull out of the drive and Bang. I reverse straight into my mother’s car. Really this day is just getting better.
I ring her and beg for forgiveness and while on the phone and in my infinite wisdom decide to make the grand statement that I was kind of relieved that it was her car and no one elses. I’m sure that my mother found great comfort in the statement. All and all when I went to bed that night I smiled. Not because it was a fantastic day but because I got through it and that I knew tomorrow would come and who knew what that day had in store for us. I was woken by my Moon at 7:10 am, slightly too early to get up so we have our little cuddle and an extra snooze. This is going to be a good day. He leans over and says ‘Mammy, I peed in your bed!’
WTF! HERE WE GO AGAIN!!!
The tooth came out two days later!