I know you’ve seen these before

You can’t swing a cat without stumbling across lists of these kind on social media at the moment. I’m not one to shy away from the proverbial bandwagon so I thought I would compile a list of my own. I can’t tell you whether this is going to be a top ten, a top three or a top twenty list, it really depends on how many my baby brain will allow me to recount. I can tell you however that the list is not exhaustive and you may even have a few of your own. Feel free to share them with me. Then I’ll quietly rage that I didn’t think of that one myself.

Here is my list of things I didn’t realise I appreciated until I had children.

Neutral Colours

Once my life was full of tasteful shades of brown with an odd splash of muted colour here and there. If I was feeling particularly brave I might throw in an aul bit of purple which is my favourite color. Now my life is overwhelmed by primary colours. Their toys is an obvious observation. It doesn’t stop there. My delph in classic white has been infiltrated with plastic cups in green and blue. My DVD collection was dark, the shelves filled with thrillers and drama. Now they are dotted with yellows and oranges with big cartoon eyes looking at me. Which quite frankly when you are sitting on your own at night can freak you out more than any thriller.

Clear Path

The simple pleasure of being able to walk from one point to another without obstacles. If I’m not hot footing it across the sitting room avoiding breaking my neck on toys I’m trying to refrain from crushing my daughters toes as she insists on clinging to  my leg as I cook the dinner. The boys abandon their clothes in every toilet in the house. Jacket in the downstairs loo when they first come home and shoes in the unsuite before bed and they might leave pants in their bathroom if they are really trying to spoil me. Check me out with my three bathrooms! Living the dream!

Using the Rear View Mirror For It’s Intended Purpose

We all know the importance of the rear view mirror in the car. I remember doing my test and being told to check rearview, wing and wing like as if i was blessing my self. Now it checks more than the road. It gets flipped from left to right in an attempt to see what my children get up to in the back seat. It’s also used to check my teeth as I run late for the school run so that I don’t have croissant stuck in my gums while I grovel to the teacher and promise he won’t be late again. I swear to God I move the thing so much it’s going to snap off in my hand someday. I’ll blame the children… naturally.

Showering without hearing phantom noises

I was never one for long showers. In fact I’m not big on hygiene in general if it were socially acceptable to be a minger I would never wash. That being said my overwhelming need to people please keeps me clean for the most part. If I had known that every shower I was to have post babies would be haunted by the sound of a crying child I would have appreciated the bathing experience a little more. Even when my children are in their fathers house I hear them calling me?

Daytime TV

I remember the days when I should have been in College curling up on the couch and waiting for the repeats to finish and the daytime schedule to kick in. A good dose of Jeremy Kyle shouting at some dude for sleeping with his step sister followed by someone cooking dinner in a cocktail dress and telling us how good it tastes. Now daytime TV consists of cartoons followed by cartoons followed by cartoons. How I long to hear Mr Kyle berate someone. Yes I really just said that I miss Jeremy Kyle.

Looking where I god damn pleased

Not so long ago my eyes were my own. There was a time, I kid you not, that I looked at whatever I chose, whenever I felt that object, person or place was deserving of my gaze. Now every minute of everyday some small person is shouting the words  ‘look mammy’ at me. I’ve had to look at everything from their magnificent attempts at art to a half chewed sweet on the pavement. My head spins around so much I imagine that I look like I’m taking some sort of a turn.

Other simple pleasures that went unappreciated were finishing a meal uninterrupted, peeing alone and the most elusive of them all the lie in on the weekends. I suppose the kids are worth all the sacrifice…. ah no they are! Add more if the comments or on Facebook and we can all share our self inflicted misery.

Thank you for reading.

Be Well

Ellen

2 thoughts on “I know you’ve seen these before

  1. hahaha – love the “Look where I God Damn please” = I often have my face grabbed between 2 little hands and steered into their preferred direction – motherhood eh?!

    Like

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