Please Don’t Tell Me I’m Not Fat

I do understand that generally the people you surround yourself with in life don’t want to hurt your feelings. For the most part difficult subjects will either be avoided or treated with great tact. If a difficult issue has to be broached with would still be with your best interests at heart. With that in mind I’m asking for a favour.

 Don’t tell me I’m not fat.

I’m not sure why people feel the need to disagree. Some are being kind. Some are so used to seeing bigger people that maybe they don’t consider me to be fat and that in itself is a problem. Men are trying to flatter me. That’s unnecessary because fat doesn’t mean unattractive.

I’m a serial dieter and perpetual failure. I have never actively managed to lose any more than 7 pounds. I’ve been steadily gaining weight since I was 19. I now stand 5 foot 6 inches tall and weigh 17 stone.

I’d like to tell you that I don’t know how I got to this point. It would be a lie. I remember all the times I ate to excess. I remember the greed that took over. I remember the gorging to the point of throwing up. I long for food all day every day and that’s my affliction.  I feel the guilt, I ignore it, I continue to eat.

Each step of the way I’ve vowed to change my ways. Oh I’m not interested in diets or fads I want to change my lifestyle!! I’ll just have the final supper. O I’m starting Monday or the first of the month or the New Year or never. Take your pick.

I’m vocal about my weight often getting the joke in before anyone else would get the chance. I would refer to it often because it’s always on my mind. You’d think I would do something about it if that was the case but I just don’t seem to be able to master my demons.  So when I reference my weight the usual response is sure you are not fat will you stop.

Well I’m sorry if 7 stone overweight is not fat I don’t know what is? I get that you are trying to not hurt my feelings but saying nothing at all would be better than a fallacy.

I’m not talking about fat shaming by any stretch or means I’m merely asking you not to disagree with me. I’m also not asking you to solve my fatness by telling me the offer on in the local gym. I haven’t solved the problem in over 20 years of trying you are not gonna solve it with one motivational sentence.

I think the lesson I need to take from my frustrations with people telling me that I’m not fat is that I need to reduce the amount of time that I spend talking about it. It’s not fair to burden people with not knowing what to say. It’s not their problem, it’s mine. But just remember this Don’t Tell Me I’m Not Fat because I clearly am!

 

Keep up with your Cervical Checks.

Being a woman is a complicated series of biological events. We don’t have it easy. From breast formation to the dreaded periods. After enduring the hormonal shifts every month during our child bearing years we get to top it all off with the menopause. We are so lucky. Your fanny is either sopping wet from a leaky bladder or dry and itchy from when it all shrivels up on you. The body’s polite way of telling you that your baby making days are long gone.

The vagina is a mystery to most women.  Unless you are in the healthcare profession the chances are you’ve only ever seen your own. That’s if you ever bothered to look. I wonder how many women have inspected their own vaginas? I remember growing up not knowing whether certain aspects were normal? The aroma, the discharge and the flaps were all aspects I hoped were the same on everyone else. It was not something that was discussed and remember this is pre-internet times so I had never looked at any pornography (still haven’t Mam I swear).

Once I became sexually active I remember hearing something about a smear test. I had no idea what this was. During a visit to the doctor he recommended that I pop in to the lady doc to have one after presenting with a number of infections in the area. Continue reading “Keep up with your Cervical Checks.”

Everyone Should Have a Home.

Leo our leader has come out and told the people of this country to just go borrow off their parents to get a deposit for a house. My jaw hit the floor and it hasn’t popped back into place yet. I’m not into politics so I only know what sound bites I see on tv or hear on the radio. From those titbits I always thought Leo made sense. He seemed practical and I never remember being opposed to his views. Until today.

I know what it’s like to have no home. When my relationship broke down I had to rely on the kindness of my mam to take me, two children and a baby bump into her home. As my mother there was no question for her as to where I would go. I was very lucky and extremely grateful. Not everyone has a mother to turn to. Continue reading “Everyone Should Have a Home.”

I Don’t Know How To Deal With My Physical Boys

Most of my life I’ve been drowning in female company. A young life filled with aunts, female cousins and my only sibling who was also a girl. My complete education took place in an all female environment.  This upbringing showed me that women were bloody awesome. They ruled the world.

Let’s fast forward to my first pregnancy. What would I do if I had a boy? Well I was about to find out! My eldest was pushed from his comfy home in October 2009. He presented at 8 pounds 6 ounces and well at least half of that weight was his balls. I looked at his Dad horrified. ‘Did you see his balls? What the hell is that about?’  The midwife assured us that it was all perfectly normally while I silently panicked about how I was going to rear a male of the species. Continue reading “I Don’t Know How To Deal With My Physical Boys”

I Worry I’ve Passed My Food Issues Onto My Children

I’ve always thought I was overweight. Smaller in stature than most of my peers paired with a round face I always felt fat even as a young child. Truth being told I didn’t start holding weight until I was in my teens. When my breasts arrived it was game over. It was like the rest of me enlarged to keep up with my sizeable assets.

I’m not at the point where vanity is the last thing on my mind. It’s very much a health issue. Every Monday I begin a new lifestyle and by lunchtime on the very same Monday I have failed in one way or another. Food is my addiction and I’ve never been able to overcome it. I would probably give off the impression that it doesn’t bother me.

It does yet I lack the ability to change.

When my first son arrived it was very much do the right thing food wise even though I wasn’t leading my example. I fed him home cooked everything while I munched on take away while he napped. I was determined to start him off on the right foot so he wouldn’t have to suffer with the issues I have. Continue reading “I Worry I’ve Passed My Food Issues Onto My Children”

The Cranberries My Favourites

Born Dolores Mary Eileen O’ Riordan on 6th September 1971 and she couldn’t have been more Irish with a name like that. From Ballybricken in Limerick she was the youngest of seven. I’m sure none of them knew the measure of success that she was going to have. She rose to the top never forgetting where she came from.

The music always had an Irish lilt. Her accent came through every now and again. She wrote about Ireland many times and sadly due to the times that were in it the songs weren’t always glowing reports of our beautiful homestead. Continue reading “The Cranberries My Favourites”

I Will Never Get A Dog.

It’s the time of year where my newsfeed is choc-a-block with pictures of adorable puppies. Lucky me I hear you cry. I do enjoy looking at their cute faces and imagining what I would call them if they were mine. My suggestions are always better than the name on the screen because let’s face it I’m a creative genius. I love looking at their little legs struggling to hold up their pudgy newborn bodies. It’s like a tonic.

From what you have just read it wouldn’t be wrong for you to assume that I have a dog. Well I don’t. I never will and I’ll tell you why. Continue reading “I Will Never Get A Dog.”

Are Manners Gone Out Of Fashion?

Since birth I have drilled it into mine to have good manners. Please and thank you before and after everything nearly to the point of overkill. I do think basic manners seem to be going out of style. For me it’s an accessory that’s timeless.

As with everything in life, there’s a certain amount of evolution required. Like it or lump it we are moving further and further away from human interaction and more towards electronic communication. This doesn’t mean that manners have to go out the window it just means they need to be adjusted.

I understand that not everybody has their device in their hands all the time. I don’t think that a text or an email requires an immediate response. People are busy. I get it. However when you see the person you have text commenting on competitions for a new carpet on the stairs and not answering your question, that’s just rude. Continue reading “Are Manners Gone Out Of Fashion?”

Logan Paul you Twat!

For years my support system has scoffed at how much screen time I’ve allowed my kids. I didn’t buy into all the hype that it ‘changed’ them. Stories in mags comparing it to heroin for kids made my eyes roll so far back I could see yesterday. My logic was that if they weren’t watching the Ipad they would be watching the T.V. so whats the difference?

I conducted a little experiment and reduced the amount of screen time significantly to see if it indeed had an effect on my children’s behaviour. I have no problem admitting this.

I was very wrong.

The less time my children  had with their computers, they were like different people. Less computer time made for more cooperative, level headed and just nicer kids. When they had it they became scowling, argumentative and irrational little shits. Continue reading “Logan Paul you Twat!”

Would You Let Another Woman Breastfeed Your Child?

I wasn’t the world’s most successful breast feeder. I fed all three myself for a while but nowhere near as long as I longed to. I was so adamant that I was breast feeding my first that I didn’t even buy bottles. Bad luck meant that my precious son became ill at four days old and this hampered any and all efforts. I fed number two the longest for a sum total of 6 weeks. The princess got a fortnight bless her. I think if my experience with breastfeeding had have been more positive the first time around I would have lasted longer.  However long I did it for I am very glad that I did.

I am an advocate for breastfeeding. I think it’s an amazing privilege to feed your offspring. Continue reading “Would You Let Another Woman Breastfeed Your Child?”